CD 17 - Waiting to Ovulate - 100mg Clomid
Sooooo.... not much happening over here. I'm CD 17 already and, if I had a regular cycle, would be in my TWW by now. Of course, I'm nowhere near normal, so instead I think I'll most likely ovulate in the next week or so. I don't even have any pre O symptoms so I have no concrete clues. With my new job time seems to be passing very quickly, and yet not quickly enough. I've put my sweet husband on notice for lots of romantic time in the next week or so in hopes of catching my fertile window. There's no such thing as too much sex when you're TTC!
That being said, I have no idea if I will even ovulate this month. I did manage to ovulate last month thanks to Clomid, but it's not a sure thing yet. I'm still not counting on it - can you really count on anything when you have PCOS and endometriosis and a history of many (MANY!) anovulatory cycles. Without my constant monitoring by ultrasound and blood tests, I have no idea whether I have any follicles or not. Because I do monitor my temperature, at least I will know if I HAVE ovulated or not due to a sustained temperature rise. So every morning at 6 I check my temp and hope to see a spike - nothing's happened so far!
And every day, I try to just keep living my life, just keep pushing on. One foot in front of the other, one step at a time, one breath then another. I try not to think too hard or too long about it all, it only makes my heart ache and feel empty all at once. I just booked a trip to Croatia for a week of sun and relaxation. If all works out, I'll be in my TWW by then and it will help the time zip by. I'm really looking forward to the trip - lots of beaches, wine, and culture - but of course, as always, I'd rather be pregnant. Sigh.
Until that time, I'll try to spend my time living, not just waiting.
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