No Temps, No Problem

So I'm currently 12dpo, the time that most women trying to get pregnant are going crazy. A test at this point might be accurate, but it's more likely to give you a false negative (or a just plain negative). It's almost like torture, the last two days before the testing time crawl by at an impossibly slow pace. Normally at this point, I'd be over analyzing every temperature, waiting for the dreaded drop right before my period starts and then my hopes are dashed on the rocks. 

Not this time, however. I very stupidly didn't pack my thermometer for my week-long trip to Dubrovnik where I would be on the all-too-crucial 14dpo. I have to almost guiltily admit that I'm loving it. Yes, I have no idea what my body is doing, but I don't have to wake up at 6:10am everyday of my holiday. I don't end up having a miserable day because my temp dropped. I don't hang my hopes on an abnormally high temp. Instead, I am just thoroughly enjoying this trip, dreading the day 14dpo arrives, while also not obsessing over it. The days are full and busy in the most wonderful way. Instead of filling every moment with reading the TTC boards, blogs and chat rooms, I am sitting on a cliff side, drinking beer, and watching the sunset. Que sera, sera, whatever will be, will be and all that jazz. I've been disappointed so many times at this point I am really just waiting for the next cycle to take my Clomid and try again and then get to my appointment with my RE in November so we can do something maybe a bit more drastic. 

I always said I didn't want to have to go onto injections. They hurt, like REALLY hurt. And I hate needles. And they leave bruises all over your body. And my poor hubby would be the one that had to inject me. But right now, I kind of wish I could move onto something that a higher success rate. It feels like I'm waiting for something that will never happen - is that how all infertiles feel before they find out they are miraculously pregnant? My point here is, at this point I'm ready for bigger steps if it means I have a chance. I guess I should be grateful that I ovulate on Clomid at all?

Also, if relaxing makes you pregnant (like so many wonderfully ignorant people believe) then this holiday should definitely make me pregnant. I've been so relaxed and calm, enjoying every moment that BAM of course I should be pregnant. Ha. Alright, I'm going to get back to this beer, it's singing my name. 2 days and counting until I know where I stand. I know all of my readers are waiting in suspense so I promise I'll even update in case of the bad news!