Thursday, September 3, 2015

One (BIG) Follicle!

Cycle Day 22, Second Clomid Cycle 100mg days 3-7, Second monitoring appointment (blood draw and internal ultrasound).

After my last monitoring appointment, I had no hope for this cycle. With no follicles in sight, the doctor said to come back in a week to check one last time before bringing on my period and trying me at 150mg Clomid. So I put everything aside and focused on me. I had a lot of things going on! My sweet hubby and I flew to Geneva, where we spent the day visiting friends before driving to France so I could complete my second Half-Ironman. I had prepared for this moment for 6 months (and secretly prayed I would be pregnant so I wouldn't have to actually complete it!) and finally the day had come. Honestly, I blasted my expectations out of the water and completed the race in 6:33:51 (my previous time had beed 7:14:12!). My swim, bike and run all were enjoyable and, although not easy, not too terribly difficult either. I never felt that dreaded feeling you can sometimes get in an endurance race of, "I can't go one more step - I can't finish!" I ended with a big smile and a sprint, and I was very proud of myself and my strong body (for the first time in a long time!)

I returned to the UK ready to face my second monitoring appointment. It went as usual - except I started crying in the scan room. But let's back up a bit to go through each part. It started like always with a blood draw and small talk with the nurses, then a wait for the internal ultrasound. The doctor checking me in the scan room was visibly pregnant and as we had never met, she introduced herself. Then she started by measuring my uterine lining (8mm, a decent number), and then moving onto my left ovary. I watched the screen as always and saw the string-of-pearl-cysts.

"Nothing but small cysts in the left ovary," the doctor called out to her assistant, who scrawled it down on her paper.

I looked up at the ceiling instead of craning to look at the screen as usual. I knew what was coming. I could feel the disappointment welling up in me and I was mentally preparing myself

"18 x 24mm, one big follicle, and it looks like it's about to release!" My head snapped to the screen at these words. I couldn't believe it. There it was, clear as day, one dominant follicle. The kind that most women get every month and don't even think about. I burst into tears. The nice assistant handed me a tissue and told me it was okay and not to cry - that the other doctors would thin they were torturing me. I explained through my tears that this would be my first chance to get pregnant in 13 months. As the doctor fished around with the dildo cam for the best view, and took a few more pictures, I felt the hope soar inside of me. This was amazing news! Clomid 100mg DID work for me! I don't have to move onto injectables yet!

After the scan finished they left me to get dressed, and when I exited the scan room, all the nurses and doctors standing there did a little cheer for me. "You've got to celebrate the little victories, right?" I said. They all nodded emphatically with me and patted me on the back. They told me the follicle was so mature that they weren't going to trigger me this time. I should get home, get busy, and come back in a week to check to be sure it had released. 

It was my first drive back from the clinic that wasn't seen through tear-clouded eyes. It was the first good news I had received since we started all this in August 2014. I got home and I couldn't hide my joy. After sharing the news with my husband, we celebrated together. Even if this round doesn't end in pregnancy, at least we know there are more rounds ahead of us, more rounds with a chance! No more 120+ day cycles and never ending waiting. 

I'm also very grateful I decided to join my husband on his business trip this weekend - otherwise we could have missed my window! I'll update a bit more as these next few weeks continue, but I still can't stop smiling

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