Well, this is the place where I update, so here I am.
Before I start, I guess I should preface this with the fact that I don't expect anyone to be reading this. Included here the gross, personal, nitty gritty facts that come with TTC. It's not very interesting, or fun, or nice. It's just real life, real situations, and I need an outlet, somewhere to share. And here it is, my very own little personal space. If it helps you with TTC, or understanding me and my journey, then more power to it.
Exploratory Lap and HSG
I went in for an exploratory laparoscopy on Tuesday, April 28th. At the same time they would be performing an HSG to check the shape of my uterus and that my fallopian tubes were open and not blocked from my previous torsions. The doctors and nurses were great at checking me in, explaining my procedure, and prepping me for surgery. I would be under general anesthesia, so I wouldn't feel any pain while it was happening.
Fast forward 3 hours after the surgery, and I'm still in recovery but very, very out of it. One doctor is explaining something to me as I feel like I'm floating away on a cloud. I fall in and out of sleep as they move me into the main ward. I feel nauseous, so I try to eat a bit of toast. Almost vomit. Manage not to. Sleeping again.
Wake up in the middle of the night for more shots (2 of them), a bathroom run, and a low blood pressure warning from my arm cuff. Nurse turns off machines. Back into dreamless sleep.
Wake up again at 6am for temperatures, meds, blood pressure, incision site check. All looks good. Back to sleep. Wake up again - breakfast time. Manage to eat, then almost vomit, but don't (yay?). Sleeping on and off, can't focus, read, or watch anything. Lunch arrives. I eat it and feel almost normal. Another small nap, then more checks (temps, blood pressure, meds).
The doctors come by for post-op rounds. There are 6 doctors around me, but I only recognize one from my pre-op. They tell me the surgery was successful. I have stage 1 (mild) endometriosis, and that they cleared away all the spots they found. They also cleared away several adhesions, and now my uterus looks great and my fallopian tubes are open. That part is good news. My ovaries, both of them, are completely riddled with cysts. They say this matter of fact, but I tell them at my most recent scan my right ovary did not appear to have any cysts. They dismiss this and tell me that scans aren't always clear enough and that both ovaries are polycystic. Great.
My follow up will be done at my fertility clinic appointment next week. They leave, and I get one more round of temps, meds, blood pressure, a shower where they check my incision points (2 of which are still bleeding), and then discharged.
I am still floating on a cloud of meds as I walk myself out of the hospital and to the parking lot where my friend is waiting to take me home. Did I mention my husband is out of town at a business meeting? Five months hanging around at home and the one week he leaves, I have surgery. I can't blame him - he was booked for the trip before my surgery was. But that means I'm home alone post-op, trying to keep it together. I slept nearly 12 hours last night, and while I woke up with a higher than usual (for me) temperature, and a bit of continued bleeding, I seem okay. My stomach is sore at the three incision points and achey in general inside my abdomen, and I feel like a space-cadet, but these are all normal things after a surgery. I just have to allow myself time for rest and recovery.
Most of all, I guess I am still reeling from the diagnosis of endometriosis. I knew I had PCOS, and I had come to terms with that. But endo is a completely different, but just as difficult, problem. It means my uterine lining is growing outside my uterus. There is no cure for it, and often it gets worse as you get older. This is the reason I have had abdominal pain for the last 4 months. The only way to stop endo seems to be pregnancy. But endo makes it more difficult to get pregnant. So does PCOS. Each of them in their own way set up another roadblock for me, another barrier towards my rainbow. I have done a bit of research (who doesn't) and can't seem to find much on women with both PCOS and endometriosis. It's one or the other it seems - but what if you have both?
I try to focus on the positives - Tubes are open! Uterus looks good! Endometriosis spots and adhesions have been cleared away (for now)! Things are moving forward! But it's not always easy to stay positive. And I can't pretend all the time. Sometimes I just have to allow myself to grieve a bit. I'll be 29 next week, another reminder of how long this process is taking.
*Deep breath*. Focus on the positives. Keep it together. Things could be worse, right? *More deep breathing* I think it might be time for another nap.
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