The beginning of my TTC journey was filled with anxious two-week-waits. I didn't understand how my body worked and how long my cycles were, which occasionally led to three or four-week-waits (when I thought I had ovulated, but never got a period!). Then I started taking my temperature and learned more about my cycle and began medication and then I got to experience that real, terrible two-week-wait. The weeks between when you ovulate and *might* be pregnant, but might not. When it is too early to test but you are full of hope because maybe, just maybe, this time you'd be pregnant. You try not to think about it every day and fill up your time with work and friends and a moderate amount of wine and sushi in case this is your last hurrah. You pay attention to every little sign. Was that nausea a sign of morning sickness? Is that cramping implantation? Is the fatigue caused by pregnancy hormones? Are my breasts tender? Is _________ a sign of early pregnancy? Cue Google which, incredibly, can find that nearly every single sign possible as one that you are pregnant. Most of the time this two-week-wait would just end in tears despite all my "symptom spotting" with another negative pregnancy test (and two more, just to be sure) or my period showing a day or two late. Then the cycle would start again with temping, medication, a two-week-wait, symptom spotting and then heartbreak. Until finally, that one exceptional day, when the test was POSITIVE.
That is what started out this whole exciting 9-month-baby-growing journey. The first three months were full of anxiety and watching for any signs of a miscarriage. Every twinge and cramp made me anxious and I couldn't wait to get through it. Then the second trimester arrived and time flew by until suddenly it was the third trimester. That flew by too, as I enjoyed feeling bigger kicks and movement and thinking about how much my baby was growing.
Finally, the day I had waited for - my due date! - arrived. And then it passed. And now I am in a completely different type of two-week-wait. Admittedly, this one is much easier to deal with and much less likely to end in tears and feelings of failure. This two-week-wait WILL end in a baby, my baby, and it might not even be in two weeks! It might be tomorrow! It might be tonight! But I am still trying to fill my time up, trying not to be impatient and paying attention to every little tiny feeling in case it means labor is starting. It's hard not to "symptom-spot" at this point because I know labor is imminent. I'm trying to just relax and remind myself that no one has ever been pregnant forever!
Without work to keep my mind busy, I have tried to have something every day that I can look forward to. Meeting my NCT friends and their newborns for cake and coffee, or going to a movie, or taking a long walk - having something planned lets me be excited for the future while not just counting down the minutes until Wriggles arrives. Still, it's not the easiest few days as it feels like my life is sitting on a knife edge, but at least this wait is definitely worth it.
Showing posts with label two week wait. Show all posts
Showing posts with label two week wait. Show all posts
Friday, July 1, 2016
Friday, October 9, 2015
Ovulation Detected!
CD23 - 1 dpo - Clomid 100mg CD3-7
So for the past three weeks I've been very patient, drinking grapefruit juice, checking my signs, and hoping, wishing, praying I would actually ovulate this cycle. It seems even if I did ovulate last cycle on 100mg it didn't mean I would necessarily ovulate again. Plus I kinda forgot to take one of my pills and had to take a double dose the next day. Oops.
I tried OPKs, but they were always negative. I was discouraged at times, but tried to remember that I ovulated CD22 last cycle, so it was likely to happen around a similar time (if at all) this time around. The days just c r a w l e d by.
Then today, my temperature shot up, which if you track your BBT (basal body temperature), you know is a very accurate way to know when/if you ovulate. It doesn't require blood draws or scans or anything invasive - just 30 seconds with the thermometer every morning. I love the peace of mind I get, and now that I know I've ovulated I can take a rest from constant love making.
I know what you're thinking - trying for a baby is fun! Yay! And I should just be spontaneous and enjoy myself!
But if you're TTC, you probably see it a bit differently. Timed intercourse? Being on a schedule? Sex-on-demand for nearly a week? Even after a very long and trying day at work? Yeah, it turns out it's a bit more stressful then just throwing the BC out the window and "having fun".
But back to the ovulation - with my temperature going up 0.5C, my plethora of EWCM yesterday and none today, I would say that I've definitely ovulated. I track my temperatures using FertilityFriend, a wonderful app and computer program. It thinks I'm 3pdo already, but I think otherwise. Either way, it's only good news.
And now, there's nothing to do except sit back and wait for the next two weeks. Luckily, I am going to be very busy. We have one more week of teaching and then it's the October half-term holiday! And I'm on my way to Croatia! I'll find out in Croatia if this round was successful or not, so at least I can celebrate or drown my sorrows. Now I have to decide, do I take a pregnancy test with me? Or wait until I'm late? I'll be 16dpo when I get back from my trip, so I'll either be very suspicious or AF will have already arrived. For right now, it's celebration time!
So for the past three weeks I've been very patient, drinking grapefruit juice, checking my signs, and hoping, wishing, praying I would actually ovulate this cycle. It seems even if I did ovulate last cycle on 100mg it didn't mean I would necessarily ovulate again. Plus I kinda forgot to take one of my pills and had to take a double dose the next day. Oops.
I tried OPKs, but they were always negative. I was discouraged at times, but tried to remember that I ovulated CD22 last cycle, so it was likely to happen around a similar time (if at all) this time around. The days just c r a w l e d by.
Then today, my temperature shot up, which if you track your BBT (basal body temperature), you know is a very accurate way to know when/if you ovulate. It doesn't require blood draws or scans or anything invasive - just 30 seconds with the thermometer every morning. I love the peace of mind I get, and now that I know I've ovulated I can take a rest from constant love making.
I know what you're thinking - trying for a baby is fun! Yay! And I should just be spontaneous and enjoy myself!
But if you're TTC, you probably see it a bit differently. Timed intercourse? Being on a schedule? Sex-on-demand for nearly a week? Even after a very long and trying day at work? Yeah, it turns out it's a bit more stressful then just throwing the BC out the window and "having fun".
But back to the ovulation - with my temperature going up 0.5C, my plethora of EWCM yesterday and none today, I would say that I've definitely ovulated. I track my temperatures using FertilityFriend, a wonderful app and computer program. It thinks I'm 3pdo already, but I think otherwise. Either way, it's only good news.
And now, there's nothing to do except sit back and wait for the next two weeks. Luckily, I am going to be very busy. We have one more week of teaching and then it's the October half-term holiday! And I'm on my way to Croatia! I'll find out in Croatia if this round was successful or not, so at least I can celebrate or drown my sorrows. Now I have to decide, do I take a pregnancy test with me? Or wait until I'm late? I'll be 16dpo when I get back from my trip, so I'll either be very suspicious or AF will have already arrived. For right now, it's celebration time!
Saturday, April 25, 2015
One Inch At A Time
In a "normal" woman's cycle, which lasts an average of 28 days, ovulation occurs on day 14 and then you cross your fingers for 2 weeks while you wait to find out if you were successful that round. If it's positive, GREAT! If it's negative, oh well, you only have to wait two more weeks to try again.
Now I have yet to meet someone with a perfectly "normal" cycle, but I would say the majority of women fit into this basic pattern. I, sadly, am not one of them. Instead of ovulating every 28 days, my body gears up to ovulate several times, but never quite succeeds due to a lack in the proper hormones (estrogen and progesterone) and an overproduction of the wrong hormones (androgens). This is a two-fold whammy. First, it leads to delayed ovulation and incredibly long cycles. I don't mean a 35-40 day cycle. I mean more in the 90-120 day cycles - 3 to 4 months worth of waiting. The second problem is that each time an egg is not released, it decreases in quality. This means that when it is, in fact, released, it is less likely to result in pregnancy. And then women with PCOS have a higher chance of miscarriage, gestational diabetes, preeclampsia, and premature diabetes. Well isn't PCOS just filled with sunshine and butterflies and rainbows of good news?
My doctor recommend I decrease my BMI from 25 to 22, as losing weight and eating healthy are two of the best lifestyle changes to increase the chance of ovulation. I have been exercising more and eating very healthy, so now it's just going to take time to see the changes. As I said before, I am a "lean PCOS" because my BMI is in the normal range but I still may have too much insulin in my body, making it difficult to lose weight and causes even more problems. But my recent decrease in weight means...
... I was lucky enough to *finally* ovulate on my own on April 8. My temperatures increased and stayed increased for 13 days before AF arrived. This is great news for two reasons:
1) I am actually, in fact, ovulating (even if it is very very late)
2) My luteal phase (LP), the second part of the cycle, is long enough to sustain a pregnancy
For us PCOS girls, ovulating on your own is a cause for celebration in itself. Most women end up needing treatment to cause their cycles to end, but I was lucky enough to start a new cycle myself. Hurray! (popping a bottle of champagne now!)
So after celebrating my ovulation, I had that tortuous "two week wait" - the time between ovulating and testing. I even had a slew of symptoms, like most women do, which could by PMS or pregnancy. I threw up several times for no apparent reason, so I was very hopeful. Unfortunately, this cycle was not the one but for now I'm enjoying little victories. And the throwing up? Hubby and I both have some kind of stomach bug and neither of us have felt well for over a week, so that explains that.
The best news now is that I have had a pre-op appointment and have just been scheduled for my actual surgery on Tuesday. Yay! That's months before I expected to be fit in, moving things along nicely. The doctors will be doing an HSG, which is where dye is squirted through your tubes to check if they are open. If they aren't the doctors go in to remove any blockages. With my history of torsions, it is quite likely they are blocked, so even if I ovulate on my own, it couldn't get through to be fertilized. They are also going in laparoscopically to check out the condition and location of my ovaries. My left ovary is still riddled with cysts, but my right ovary is cyst-free and smaller than they think it should be. This could be from my previous surgery when they had to cut through my ovary to take out the cyst. Either way, I should come out of the surgery with more answers and at the very least information for my fertility clinic appointment - which is in just two weeks!
Although I am disappointed with not falling pregnant after the last never-ending cycle, at least something is happening. We aren't just sitting around, twiddling our thumbs, waiting for my hormones to magically regulate themselves. I am so grateful for the NHS, my doctors, and the treatment I have been receiving. I appreciate being proactive and moving forward, one inch at a time.
Now I have yet to meet someone with a perfectly "normal" cycle, but I would say the majority of women fit into this basic pattern. I, sadly, am not one of them. Instead of ovulating every 28 days, my body gears up to ovulate several times, but never quite succeeds due to a lack in the proper hormones (estrogen and progesterone) and an overproduction of the wrong hormones (androgens). This is a two-fold whammy. First, it leads to delayed ovulation and incredibly long cycles. I don't mean a 35-40 day cycle. I mean more in the 90-120 day cycles - 3 to 4 months worth of waiting. The second problem is that each time an egg is not released, it decreases in quality. This means that when it is, in fact, released, it is less likely to result in pregnancy. And then women with PCOS have a higher chance of miscarriage, gestational diabetes, preeclampsia, and premature diabetes. Well isn't PCOS just filled with sunshine and butterflies and rainbows of good news?
My doctor recommend I decrease my BMI from 25 to 22, as losing weight and eating healthy are two of the best lifestyle changes to increase the chance of ovulation. I have been exercising more and eating very healthy, so now it's just going to take time to see the changes. As I said before, I am a "lean PCOS" because my BMI is in the normal range but I still may have too much insulin in my body, making it difficult to lose weight and causes even more problems. But my recent decrease in weight means...
... I was lucky enough to *finally* ovulate on my own on April 8. My temperatures increased and stayed increased for 13 days before AF arrived. This is great news for two reasons:
1) I am actually, in fact, ovulating (even if it is very very late)
2) My luteal phase (LP), the second part of the cycle, is long enough to sustain a pregnancy
For us PCOS girls, ovulating on your own is a cause for celebration in itself. Most women end up needing treatment to cause their cycles to end, but I was lucky enough to start a new cycle myself. Hurray! (popping a bottle of champagne now!)
So after celebrating my ovulation, I had that tortuous "two week wait" - the time between ovulating and testing. I even had a slew of symptoms, like most women do, which could by PMS or pregnancy. I threw up several times for no apparent reason, so I was very hopeful. Unfortunately, this cycle was not the one but for now I'm enjoying little victories. And the throwing up? Hubby and I both have some kind of stomach bug and neither of us have felt well for over a week, so that explains that.
The best news now is that I have had a pre-op appointment and have just been scheduled for my actual surgery on Tuesday. Yay! That's months before I expected to be fit in, moving things along nicely. The doctors will be doing an HSG, which is where dye is squirted through your tubes to check if they are open. If they aren't the doctors go in to remove any blockages. With my history of torsions, it is quite likely they are blocked, so even if I ovulate on my own, it couldn't get through to be fertilized. They are also going in laparoscopically to check out the condition and location of my ovaries. My left ovary is still riddled with cysts, but my right ovary is cyst-free and smaller than they think it should be. This could be from my previous surgery when they had to cut through my ovary to take out the cyst. Either way, I should come out of the surgery with more answers and at the very least information for my fertility clinic appointment - which is in just two weeks!
Although I am disappointed with not falling pregnant after the last never-ending cycle, at least something is happening. We aren't just sitting around, twiddling our thumbs, waiting for my hormones to magically regulate themselves. I am so grateful for the NHS, my doctors, and the treatment I have been receiving. I appreciate being proactive and moving forward, one inch at a time.
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